Falling in love in a shelter
This is the story of Katya and Vasya. It is a story about war and it is a story about love. For love happens even when you don't expect it and where you don't suspect it. For love conquers everything.
TEMA: When was the first time you met each other?
Vasya: We met on 25th of February, the second day of war. In a shelter.
For how long did you stay in the shelter?
V: Around 2 months. When Russian troops left the outskirts of Kyiv and it became calmer, we moved to my place and finally got the chance to spend time as a couple.
Did you know each other before the war already?
V: I think it’s good that we didn’t meet before. We were just waiting for that “right moment” to meet each other. Everything, including us, was different before the war started. But I want to believe that we would have met anyway.
Katya: Vasya was working in a bar I used to go to with my friends quite often. But I only found out about it after we met in the shelter. I think we may have seen each other around the neighbourhood at some point before the war. But we didn’t know each other and never talked. No matter how terrible it sounds, we met because of the war. Maybe it was just meant to happen this way.
What was your first date like?
V: It’s difficult to name a specific date. We started every day with volunteer tasks and only sometimes in the evening we would have an hour for a walk. Towards the middle of March, some places started to open again, and it was kind of a celebration when we had the chance to go out for breakfast.
K: As far as I remember, we just fell asleep in a hug at Vasya’s place on our first date. Then we woke up and had to run to the shelter. Since then, Vasya’s place has become my favourite place for dates. I love it when we just lie down and hug each other in silence….and then we start watching Vasya's favourite Harry Potter movie.
How did the war influence the way you got to know each other?
V: It may sound strange, but the war shows your true self. Life or death – that's all that matters. Everything else recedes into the background. I didn’t only get to know Katya but also my true self. Before, I was alone for quite some time and I felt comfortable about it. But when you meet your person, you understand that you can feel better. I liked Katya as a girl and human from the very first sight. I was really happy when our relationship started to develop and I discovered that our ideas about life are very similar.
K: When the war started, I definitely wasn't thinking that I would find love. I was filled with fear and anger. That one night in a shelter, I couldn’t calm down. I thought it was the end: everything I ever wanted would not exist any more. I would never listen to my favourite records again, never see my loved ones again, never hear "I love you" again. The next day, Vasya and I started talking more and spending more time together. It felt like he had heard my thoughts. At some point, I realized that it wasn’t just sympathy. So I said “yes” to us. We never know if it's the last time – only now and here matters. War makes you realize that.
In what way does the war influence your relationship?
V: The war brings us closer together. The desire to be alone has disappeared. You want to spend more time together. We have lost all the small problems we used to have. Now we all share one big problem – this war.
K: When the war started, there was a silence in my head. Everything else was so loud, it was transforming into chaos and was destroying me. It's like holding yourself up and then this one piece of news leaves you apathetic. And suddenly you understand that now there’s a person near you who fills the empty space inside you. Like the whole world becomes silent and you calm down.
Normally, the time you get to know someone is really exciting and you do a lot together. How did you spend this time?
V: We were together from the very beginning of the war and this time was really exciting. We could finish each other’s sentences and understand each other at a glance. We would understand what song the other was talking about. It’s so cool when you realize that in such dark times, you meet “your” person.
K: We were in a shelter with other people. In the beginning I felt embarrassed because of his looks, our touches, his attention. But he was doing it so gently and with such warmth. I remember Vasya was putting me to sleep – our minutes alone. My feelings for him made all the nonsense inside me go away.
Are some things happening faster or maybe slower when you date in war?
Vasya: In wartime, you don’t have any plans for tomorrow. You just live in the moment. You act how you feel. You don’t plan and overthink, you just act. We moved in together straight away. All the everyday problems couples face when moving in together didn't affect us. We became friends, lovers and partners at once.Katya: Once we started communicating, it felt like we’ve always been friends and just haven’t seen each other for a long time. Everything happens like it is supposed to happen. It’s amazing.
Was it sometimes hard to decide who you want to spend time with? Family, friends or lover?
Vasya: Not at all, I realized that I needed and wanted to be with Katya. But of course I was visiting and helping my loved ones. Katya: When the war started, I was alone. And somehow I ended up in a shelter with friends. We experienced this nightmare together from the very beginning. Vasya became the most important person to me. We and our friends have supported each other and continue to do so still. I didn’t have to make choices - everything happened by itself and I’m very grateful it did.
War and love are closely connected in your case. What did this experience teach you?
Katya: In the beginning of this war, we decided to stay in Kyiv. This way, the darkest side of this world has shown itself to us. We saw endless cruelty through people. Everyone made a choice. Russia chose darkness but we're choosing light and life. We Ukrainians know who we are and where we belong. In our national identity there’s a strong sense of dignity and hope and it reflects in each of us. Yes, we are in a destructive and terrible reality, but it is also empowering in a way. Everyone here deeply feels the sense of existence now, the value of people around and sympathy to each other. We’re capable of healing ourselves and each other only with our strong spirit. This is our superpower. Even in the most hopeless times, we’re falling in love. Isn’t it amazing?
Katya and Vasya, drawn by Vasya's niece.
